What’s the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

What’s the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
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In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, “NO I DIDN’T!”

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that yo
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What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They’re married.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They’re married.
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A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She s
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Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that?” “Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”

Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that?”
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What’s a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It’s a dead letter day.

What’s a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? It’s a dead letter day.
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Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.
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What do you call an egg from outer space? An unidentified flying omelet!

What do you call an egg from outer space? An unidentified flying omelet!
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